When the federal governent funds abstinence-until-marriage for 19-29 year olds...they almost make it too easy to mock them! Although,
Advocates for Youth did a spectacular job with
this ad.

The "pet your dog, not your date" stuff is for real. You
could (if you wanted to) actually purchase a t-shirt (at new, reduced prices!) that says "Pet your dog, not your date" from the Abstinence Clearinghouse (sorry, no linky).